This House was a Home and It Was Ours.

 

Picture it. The momentum was building as you heard chatter of the Supreme Court’s decision to make gay marriage the law of the land! 

 

The excitement from everyone I knew was electric. 

I have always heard, “when you straighten up and fly right,” that is when your doors start to unlock. 

And that my friends, couldn’t be more true. 

We found a house right outside of New Orleans that seemed to be perfect for us. 

We had it in our hearts we wanted to buy a house outside of New Orleans to start our family. 

It was perfect. I found our first dream house- and then we toured MANY others, but my heart always came back to this one. 

 This one is was different. There was something pulling me here. 

The beauty was evident but it was more then that. 

I felt like we didn’t need to search anymore. I mean, I knew it from day one, but I was told to just tottle on. 

 

Anyone that has gone through the process of buying a house knows just how intense it can be sometimes. Dealing with the government, etc., is a lot to take in. ESPECIALLY for first time home buyers. 

It is hard! There are many ups and downs. 

But in the end, the satisfaction and peace that comes afterwards is unmatched.

 

Well… it happened. We closed. And then- the Supreme Court ruled! We were free to marry! At last, after 9 years, we were finally able to plan the most magical day of our lives. 

On our anniversary, August 1, 2015, we said our vows in front of our families as the Saint Louis Cathedral stood behind us. 

Jackson Square has seen many things in its 300 years- but gay weddings weren’t one of them. Until that moment. 

My mama walked me down the sidewalk with the biggest smile and love in her eyes. 

My sister told us publicly how much she loved us- knowing my little brother was listening from the clouds. 

The brass band and parade followed Douglas and myself as we marched our way down Charters street in the French Quarter. 

We were finally having OUR very own 

New Orleans “SECOND LINE,” all the way to our reception on Ursuline street. 

 

It was pure magic. Everything. Even when I flubbed my line in front of the whole family. I didn’t even care. 

Because we did it. 

We got to cross the threshold of our own house while wearing our own wedding bands.

 

People who are straight and happy may forget just how lucky they are. They may forget just how neat it is to just, be. 

And now, me and my baby could just, be. 

 

For all of about 2 months, and then, we received the phone call that would change our lives forever.

 

We knew we moved into this house for a reason. The reasons were coming more into focus like the stars do in the night. 

 

There was a newborn baby in New Orleans. The adoptive parents backed out. And she needed a home. She needed a family. She needed a papa and a daddy. She needed, US.

 

And so, it started. The whirlwind. The time clocks. The background checks. The financial records. The courses. The classes. 

The inspections. The tears. The heartbreak. 

The depression. 

But we knew, something will sprout if there is enough faith. 

Those same stars started to shine again, and the path we thought was crumbling, all of a sudden made a sharp shift. And there was silence. 

What was meant to happen, did. Our daughter happened. As unlikely as it seemed- it did. And THAT is the purpose. 

When all seems lost, never lose hope. 

It’s in those moments of despair that you have a choice. Have faith or do not. 

We did, and our dreams came true. That doesn’t go without being said that yes, terrible hardships happen. All we can do is live our best lives. We provide the best lives for our family, and our own lives will be seen, too. I know this. 

 

We learned who we were in 2015. I mean, who we truly were and who and what we wanted to become. There is power in helping people. And that is our mission. However possible, that was our mission while living our authentic lives for everyone else to see. Hopefully others do too, in some way. 

In 2017, we welcomed our sweet Ella. She too, had her own adventure in finding her way to us. Adoption isn’t for the faint of heart. It is for people who desire to become parents. Period. 

We were able to shift rooms and create a “jungle room” inspired by our oldest’s heritage. 

 

Our life was like a literal, gay storybook. That house allowed for it to happen. Hurricane after hurricane it prevailed, and this house has seen hurricanes. 

During Katrina, the previous owners drove up to our balcony in a boat. 

It was bad. 

Chalmette, the town we lived in was hit terribly hard after the storm. People died in their attics. Livelihoods lost.  It was all lost. 

But, our house’s integrity withstood every single storm that has passed. And that is exactly how I look at my marriage. 

We are NOT perfect. We do NOT smile like those pictures a lot of the time. But at the end of the day, one thing remains the same. Love WILL win. It did in 2015, and it still does in 2022. 

Last week we said goodbye to our first dream house. I knew I would be a mess, I just didn’t realize how heavy it would be.

Sure, it’s just a house. But it is so much more than that. 

It isn’t just a beginning, it was our beginning We LEPT into life, and life was like- “Oh! I see you!”

 

I will always have emptiness that losing the house leaves me with, but the peace I have in my heart also leaves me with motivation, tenacity, and excitement to make the memories where we are now! 

We were able to see FIRST hand at what this life can do- and if we apply ourselves, what we can get out of it- WHILE helping others at the same time. 

 

We don’t own that wonderful house anymore, but she will always own our hearts. Always. 

As always we love our family Photographer at Www.bsaphotography.com